In which we accomplish nothing but bear murder

I don't know whether to write sweet, sweet bear murder or cold, cold bear murder.....just ponder on that.

A cleric, a rogue and a bard walk into a bar.....and that's where the joke ends. The three most mismatched people....A made another cleric/fighter (SURPRISE!) and he made him a dwarf...(SURPRISE)...with no tact (EXTRA SURPRISE)....N made a fighter/rogue and I made a Bard----the supposedly most useless class in the game...except not because....I did more damage as a Bard than a Ranger.....

Anyway, N's character's name is Ander, A's character name is Boulden and my character's name is Emilia. Ander and Emilia run in the same circles, the whole crime syndicate....Ander is a contract killer while Emilia is good at blackmail and not so petty theft and the occasional murder. She dabbles in it all. One day Ander and Emilia saved Boulden and his whole clan and suddenly Boulden started randomly appearing at events, so they accepted him as part of their group. 

They were all gathered at the tavern when Ander received a letter thingie. Boulden didn't notice, and Emilia didn't at first, but Ander later shared the contents of the note with her.

They checked out the bulletin, where there were several quests. One of them was that the priests of---and this is what Emilia heard--Phlegmworm in LePool were missing a shipment of ore. Ander mentioned he had business in the north. Boulden said no, not north.

After telling Boulden 10 times (yes, seriously 10) that the land sharks weren't north, they were east, we finally set off north. During our travels we came upon an overturned caravan and many men fighting one poor unarmed dude. So of course Ander shot the armed dude, and Boulden rushed in (glorious combat???) while Emilia shook her head in the background. Her idea was to go to the other men and see what was going on, but nope. Combat is always better!

Anyway, after Emilia took out two dude via insults (your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!!!)--they cried and died---the elf dude was so grateful. We accompanied him to LePool. The temple gave us sanctuary for the night. That's when Ander and Emilia discussed the note---it said kill the cockknight. No f$%king joke. 

Pretty much the rest of the trip looking for the cock knight was uneventful. Boulden tried to open a gate and we kept rolling 1's and 2's---making the DM die of laughter and A getting more and more pissed off! I ended up crying because I was laughing so hard.

Anyway, we meet an old man, yell at him, the cock knight comes out, we fight him, kill him. Of course Boulden takes his plate armor and makes the little den his own haven away from hell. While he's doing that Ander and Emilia leave his ass behind.

They get back to very scary, we stay there for 40 days makin raipers, splint mailish, and makin money.....Ander goes to jail for conning people, Emilia plays at the tavern aaand Boulden plays salesman for his god.

I forgot if we went south or west or east this time, but....we failed a lot. Oh! We went east....And Boulden got us lost. Then ander got us loster. And Emilia got us lostest. There were many, many, many, many 1's rolled. N wanted new dice....

We decided to explore a cave...Boulden say f$%k you guys I'm going home, while Ander and Emilia were like okay whaeves (can you see how the balance is in this game???). Inside the cave they found a bear family....and they all murdered the bears. Poor f$%king bastards....

Until next time....